I had forgotten that I was supposed to take my daughter’s car to the mechanic today after dropping her off at work. On the way to her job, she asked me if I remembered that I was to take it in once I dropped her off. I didn’t remember and we talked a bit then I found the memory of her telling me.I was so sad. There’s nothing like failing the people you love on a continual basis for your self esteem. Then my mind went to “This is really happening to me. I’m going away.” So I threw myself a pity party then I remember she had given me GRAPES! When I got home I could eat them. A small burst of joy went through me followed by FUCK! I’m living a Ralphie May comedy routine.Ralphie May had a routine where he talked about how happy retarded people were because they are pleased by simple things. While non-retarded people were unhappy because nothing ever pleased them.He asked, “Do you know how to make a retarded person happy? A Scooby-Doo lunch box and if they find a thermos of chocolate milk. A few descriptions of the things available, and the hot women who came there to surrender themselves, had him interested, but like all cops, he was a little wary. Listening to his side of the story over the weeks, he had told me Amanda wasn’t worried about who she stepped on to get promotion. After a few discreet enquires, I also found out there was a lot of truth in what my new friend had been telling me about her. I walked back to the table, put his beer down, and lowered my head next to his ear, ‘You know, when I’ve dealt with her in the past, she’s hinted at another guy joining in.’ He looked at me for a second. ‘The beauty of it is she likes it when I wear a mask. You could stand there in a mask and she’d never know it was you. Well see you again.’ I patted him on the back and he nodded slightly. I met with Amanda a few days later. I told her the wheels were in motion, but deep down I was still restless about everything. ‘I need this to happen, and I like to get my own way.’.
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