12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."These are compliments of DorsetmikeIn the convent a young girl has just reached the end of her novitiate and has an interview withMother Superior;"Do you wish to continue in the faith?" Yes Mother" OK, you will now be able to stop the duties you were tasked with as a novitiate, so that you have. The tickling fingers produced the screeches of a six-year-old, despite the inward protests of the genius part of her. The little girl part won out as she tussled with the man she had learned to love. Why couldn't my father have acted in this manner? she thought as Jeff paused to let her get her breath, both of them laughing.The introductions were over and everyone was seated. Courtney had given up trying to remember all of their names. The long table was crowded with platters of food, the main focus on fried chicken, dumplings, mashed potatoes, gravy, and Fordhook lima beans. The men piled their plates high with food – more than Courtney had ever seen anyone eat at one sitting. As she subtly glanced around her, she realized that the women also had plates full of food – not as much as the men, but a lot for women who certainly seemed to care for their figures.If they eat like this all the time, how in the world do they keep from being enormous? she thought. Now, I've been introduced.
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