I’m twenty-nine now, and my deportment is good as ever, under normal circumstances. But under her care, I’m seated like a heedless wanton, knees poking awkwardly, my feet too high off the ground, my ass bare against the rough cheap upholstery. I feel too alert, tired and anxious both. Hot hours before I can get home, wash the chlorine from the children’s hair. She does my makeup, fixing my face to please her fancy of what I should look like, who I should be. My eyebrows are darkened into storm clouds, thick with the smudge of broken promises. My lashes become black and gloopy, heavy to lift beneath a sooty burden of sin. My lips are colored pink and glassy, a vision of delicately debauched innocence; my cheeks are daubed pink too, too bright for smarts. She’s always hated my smarts. Even my proffered breasts get brushed, tinglingly, with a dusting of glittery powder. The embarrassing ring of steel, jewel-capped, glints in my bellybutton tooinvitingly. That piercing was a. She said she never had. I told her I was going to invite a black friend of mine over and I wanted her to stay so she could see they were human just like her. She reluctantly agreed. She was shy at first but then she and my friend Ty were chatting away like friends. We invited some of Ty's black friends over and had a fun time watching the football games. The next day Savannah came over and said she was wrong about black people and she couldn't believe how she's always treated them. So me and Savannah were friends once again. Ever since then she has been totally cool with black people. Her lab partner in one of her classes was a black girl and they became good friends.So a few months ago my girlfriend and I were trying to hook up with these 2 black guys but that had a friend. So I tried to see if Savannah wanted to get her first taste of BBC. She freaked out and said that she doesn't have a problem with black people anymore but there was no was she was going to have sex with one. I.
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